Alumni Humor


How many do you see?
12 guys in one pic, 13 in the other ....
Where does the additional guy come from when they shift ?

Alumni Dictionary

  • alumnaholics - Those alumni who judge the success of an event solely on the amount of free beer provided.
  • alumnanchu - Alumni from the Fourth Ming Dynasty.
  • alumnaplomb - Pomp surrounding special alumni events.
  • alumnarcs - Our security guards at reunions.
  • alumnaroo - (foriegn) Female jumping alumna.
  • alumnash - Residue left from Homecoming bonfires.
  • alumnastics - What our alumni did when they found out we might get them tickets to the Chicago Bulls this year.
  • alumnasties - Alumni who always call or write or corner you with complaints.
  • alumnate - 1. When alumni eat all the food at an event. 2. When alumni speak nostalgically about their time on campus.
  • alumnatic(s) - 1. Storage facility for alumni junk 2. Alumni whose life revolves around the alma mater.
  • alumnats - Alumni who bug you
  • alumnausea - 1. Condition afflicting some Homecoming revelers 2. Condition afflicting alumni directors after board meetings
  • alumnay - alumni who don't ever say yes
  • alumnecktie - a college tie (of course)
  • alumneedle - What alumni give staff when things aren't quite right.
  • alumneglect - Lost alumni.
  • alumnegs - Variation of alumnasties, alumni who can't say anything nice.
  • alumneophytes - Brand new, energetic alumni (a rare breed).
  • alumneigh - Those who are a horses you know what, and make us alumnuts.
  • alumnerds - 1. Alumni who graduated from your institution that you wish had graduated from mine. 2. Alumni who graduated from the University of Chicago (they take pride in being nerds!).
  • alumnesia - A disease which strikes alumni around annual fund time.
  • alumnets - Alumni on the internet.
  • alumneuralgia - The condition alumni directors contract after more than five years in the business.
  • alumneurosis - That feeling we all get one week before homecoming.
  • alumnevers - Variation of "alumnots". May also be used to refer to graduates who are the vicious types that harass the institution after leaving, and vow never to give a penny or a minute to the institution again.
  • alumnewts - Politically conservative alumni.
  • alumniary - Your brightest, most distinguished alumnus/a/i/ae.
  • alumniation - The act of honoring individual alumni.
  • alumnibbles - What we serve at receptions.
  • alumniece - A brother's graduated daughter.
  • alumnight(s) - 1. The second half of an alumni director's work day. 2. Those evenings spent at alumni gatherings and not at home with your family.
  • alumnike - Alumni who say "Just do it!"
  • alumniks - Alumni of the Beat Generation.
  • alumniomnia - When you can't sleep before a big alumni event.
  • alumnipotent - All powerful alumni -- SO THEY THINK!! important
  • alumnips - Alumni who imbibe at various social functions.
  • alumnin - Alumni who write erotica.
  • alumnine - 1. Alumni who insist on adding another seat at a table for eight. 2. Alumni of German heritage who always say "no" to everything.
  • alumninium - Another name for an institution's Alumni House, esp. if reservations are handled by "time share."
  • alumniphobia - The irrational fear of alumni from which we all suffer occasionally.
  • alumnphonaphobics - Alumni afraid to answer their phone in the evenings.
  • alumniscient - Alumni who know everything.
  • alumniweds - A (recently, or not-so recently) married alumni couple.
  • alumnixon - Alumni who profess they are not crooks.
  • alumnize - 1. To network with alumni. .: What the administration does to students when at graduation..
  • alumnoala - (foriegn) Small grey alumni that reside in eucalypt trees.
  • alumnob - A trustee.
  • alumnobile - Typical car driven by our alumni.
  • alumnocks - Derogatory remarks alumni make about their alma mater.
  • alumnocratics - Those alumni who are unable to make decisions unless there is a committee formed.
  • alumnogs - Early alumni now extinct.
  • alumnoids - Alumni who graduted from Tech schools.
  • alumnoise - 1. Everyone on the association board talking at once. 2. The sound at class reunions.
  • alumnolls - Those who call to tell you of the death of a classmate.
  • alumnology - The study of alumni.
  • alumnoogies - What overealous, overexpressive alumni do to unsuspecting staff members.
  • alumnoomerangs - Returning alumni.
  • alumnoops - Mistake made by alumni professional or alumni in general.
  • alumnorabilia - Leftover give-aways from various events found litering alumni offices.
  • alumorandum - Typed communication between alumni directors and board members.
  • alumnosaurus - 1. Volume of alumni synonyms (not to be confused with alumnosaurus rex) 2. (Alumnosaurus Rex) - Ancient alumni on the verge of extinction.
  • alumnotes - An alumni choral group that sings at every reunion.
  • alumnots - Alumni who didn't graduate. aalum(k)nots -1. (nice version) What is tied when an alum marries another alum. 2. (other version) What you practice when alums bring their small children to events.
  • alumnovena - Prayer offered by catholic alumni directors and the donor who wishes to remain alumonomous?
  • alumNOW - Feminist alumni.
  • alumnoz (alumnozzie) - (Foriegn-Australia) Distant alumni antipodean cousin from down-under.
  • alumnspy - A person who attends alumni events but is really from another institution and is just there to steal your ideas.
  • alumnude - A bronze of one of your important alumni.
  • alumnudge - What the development officer does to get alumni to pay their pledges.
  • alumnuisance - Need I say more?
  • alumnuke - What you'd like to do to alumnasties.
  • alumnuks - Baby alumni of less than a year.
  • alumnumbs - 1. Apathetic alumni. 2. Alumni who have just been asked for an extremely large gift.
  • alumnunition - Inspiring tidbits used by development officers to win over donors.
  • alumnuts - Alumni that drive you crazy.
My eternal thanks to Adriene Williams at CASE for this Alumni Dictionary.


Mike Bergler
Director of Alumni and Family Relations
Concordia University Irvine
Irvine, CA 92612-3299

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